December 2011
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the world is seriously going to end
A Ryan Gosling looking mothafucka gave me his number today
at the end of yoga the guy next to me apologized for staring at me (He probably has an upset stomach now, i look like a wet beast during yoga)
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I thought shrillex was a brand of tights, like spanx or something.
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other people: I hate sleeping alone. Ugh hold my hand. Kiss me. Cuddle me. Lets do everything together. I need you so much closer. Let's fuck like animals. I love youuUu
me: This isn't Auschwitz, Im not sharing my bed. Stop holding my hand, I can't walk like this and you're spreading my fingers too wide, it hurts. Kissing is spitting in the palm of your hand and then taking your other hand and mashing it into the other. Stop holding me, I can't breathe or move freely. I want to do stuff alone cause that way I don't have to give a shit if you're enjoying it. Why don't you go on vacation for a few weeks? Put it in while Im sleeping, god help you if you wake me. You're okay, just sit over there.
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